10 Worst Television Couples of 2013
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life …you give them a piece of you. THEY DIDN’T ASK FOR IT.They did something dumb one day, like smile at you or call you dear, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like “Maybe we should just be friends “ turns into a glass of splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets- inside- you- and- rips- you- apart pain. I HATE LOVE. ”
How did this happen? This question keeps a mantra through my mind.
I’ve never given any thought to the plans of fate, the grand scheme for each of us. But after this, I’ve come to truly believe that everyone has an event that is life changing. Something that puts you on edge and assures that you’ll never be the same person ever again.
The event that transformed my life came as a complete shock. It challenged my entire being, shifting my entire outlook on choice and fate.
It drove a nail right through my chest …not at all blinking on the thought I was genuine & honest about how I felt. That the feeling was real, beautiful and one that was predestined for happy ever after.
It wasn’t the first time I fell heads over heals on a woman, but I could swear it is the last. I just can’t see myself recover from it. How could I stand again while all I am now is a cripple? I can’t see someone else, I don’t have eyes. I cried them out wishing that maybe, just maybe, it was just a nightmare.
The HEARTACHE from my HEARTBREAK.
Kenya has had it’s fair share of Wannabe’s from a Kim kardashian wannabe to the likes of Rihanna. Yesterday on the Infamous show #Tujuane we saw a one of a kind species to say the least.
Her name is Otieno and she called herself classy, rich and has traveled the world in seven seas including China.
Well here’s the sad truth; Eda Atieno is her full name. She went to Butere and Girls got C plain in 2010 KCSE. Her parents live in Mombasa and not China as she claims. Obviously she has never left the country.
She works as a janitor in an office located inside Nacico plaza, Jogoo Road, Nairobi. Here’s her mobile number
0710955675, maybe calling her with some good insults will get her a brain implant.
Pretty isn’t she? Well no offense but with that face, she really needs to work on her attitude.
Source “Donge.co.ke” on Facebook.
Over the past 2weeks or so, Kenya has witnessed the greatest conspiracy act in history.
Before I lay it out, let me put this clear …I indeed voted for this government and I am loyal to that ballot. I love my president.
There was once a play called shackles of doom, right? It caused quite the stir in the just concluded drama festivals but somehow somewhere, it just VANISHED. Yeah guys, Magic is real ;-)
But where did it go and who pulled the Houdini act?….
Another story cropped up. A beautiful story that won the hearts of Kenyans. OTONGOLO STORY.
With all due respect I loved that piece, I loved the actor… and so just you know, I watched it live and couldn’t stop myself from laughing. But here’s the dark reality, That piece was exceptionally incredible and that’s why it was The Perfect cover-up to brainwash us from the shackles of doom talk. I hear shackles was kicked out in the nationals but who spoke about it? which media house gave that story a second thought? I guessed so, NONE!!
BOTTOM LINE :
The otongolo was a distraction and it worked perfectly like all other conspiracies that are common in the developed world (USA) to be specific.
Welcome to Kenya Mr conspiracy. Nice to meet you.
Ps, make a point of watching scandal the US series, maybe you’ll understand what goes on inside the house on the hill :-)
Kenya’s social media community is vibrant, we fight and snatch weaves all the way from here to Botswana, we’re idle as fuck! We’ll fight your ass if you can’t pronounce our country’s name properly. All these cheap bundles
have led us to also create fame whores.
They’re mostly, third rate girls
with personalities of a warm pineapple but with somehow *great bodies* a “decent” face and access to Photoshop.
We have led these girls down the well paved road to hell, and they love it! We have told them they’re
all that and a pack of fries, and they’re not. Alhuda Njoroge, Vera Sidiki, Shee Waruinge, the list is
endless. They make every effort to milk likes, re-tweets and follows from us. They will pose on top of dinner table *with
unwashed untensils still in
sight* they will shake their
diabs to taarab in dingy room for us. They will do anything to be in
Let us look at Alhuda Njoroge Huddah Monroe. Stumbled on her photos like a year back, her bum against a shower door, very seductive grr, she would then post countless photos which made her look fucking good. Man,
we praised her. Who was she? We all knew she was a model, but no one could find her work away from the photos she posted. Who were these photos for? I tell you who they were for, HERSELF. She
was building a portfolio and we made it famous.
She says she is a businesswoman *puts down weave* child, what
business? If you cannot explain your business to a 5 year old, child, you’re hiding things. She claims to be paid 160,000 for every event she has been to. Um, NAME ONE!! I have been to the most expensive events last year, from 10k entry charge, to 4k entry charges, I didn’t see your ass there?
Folks, listen, I spent time with her inner circle, this lass is like every other lass in Nairobi, free entry, free drinks, hand her VIP
access and then end up being someone’s prop for the night.
She bragged about hanging out with the TNA peeps at Carni, GUUURL, we were invited for that too. We didn’t show up, cause you know, we had things to do. Let us say she is paid
160,000 for an event. Trust me, she will be expected to perform an act, and we call know she can’t dance, or sing!
See, we are raising fame whores. It’s fine, when it’s on social media, but when it crosses over to
publication that you’d expect to fact check shit! That is where is crosses the line. I have mad mad
respect for Drum, they’re still soldiering on even after the weak sales, but to glorify a woman whose business is as dark as 3am
darkness is just stupid! They gave her 8 pages!! 8 fucking pages! Instead of focusing on a woman,
society and girls would look upto, you choose to work with a girl who is so deluded, she thinks she
owns a Mercedes C250. Trust me, I have asked around. She owns natsing.
Fact check NATSING from
Drum. They’re just failing life.
To go ahead and publish her lies is downright dense. What happens to the ladies who are trying to work through the
education system? They will be like, shiiit, I look good too! Someone pay me 160,000 to attend their event. We’ll end up with fame whores and whores.
Then we’ll eventually blame their parents for the mess that will happen. But when will we take the blame for putting these
fame whores on a pedestal?
Kenyans can now live in peace after weeks of speculation that Susan wa Tujuane is suicidal. The infamous DIVA now a self proclaimed Celebrity, turned up for the Jameson Live Party alongside controversial showbiz boy Shaffie Weru. Nobody knows much about the hookup but one thing’s for sure …Shaffie does do community service :-) >>>Follow me on twitter @NjueKevin
Dear Raila Amolo Odinga,
RE : OPEN LETTER TO RAILA AMOLO ODINGA
I , citizen number 26802050 , has
been your ardent supporter for a
while now. I voted for you in 2007 .
In my heart of hearts I believe you won then.I still voted for you on March 4th, Unfortunately , I don’t have that feeling this time round.
Am not a student of statistics, but I humbly read the trends of what the numbers are saying and sincerely the writing is on the wall .
We may want to see things not as they are but as we are and that will be a bad intellectual mistake. I know you have urged us to keep hope alive .Sometimes however ,we have to admit that the pulse is no more and we know better than torture hope.
I urge you to graciously concede
that we fought a good fight but that the good was not good enough. This thing is not worth us spilling bloodfor ; again.
Let me take this opportunity to
congratulate our the 4th President elect of the Republic of Kenya , Uhuru Muigai Kenyatta as much as it suxs to say this. You are going to be the president of all of us.
Your supporters or otherwise. Keep that in mind.
Meanwhile, Mr Raila ,this is your
opportune time to become our very own Nelson Mandela and show us your real democratic credentials by giving up your personal ambitions
for the sake of this country I know
you love very much.
Fate may have it that you were
poised to be more powerful than
the thin boundaries of the
‘presidency’ may have accorded you.
May God grant you wisdom to take the road less taken.
Your humble supporter ,
With much sadness but with
renewed hope that Kenya is bigger than you and I.
BY: Oliver Juma
Love this piece!
Originally posted on Bad Parenting 101:
I don’t say this to evoke pity. Please don’t read it in a melodramatic tone in your head, or season it with melancholy. Think matter-of-fact. It is what it is.
I was a bit of an accident.
I asked my mother about it, once, and she paused for an uncomfortable moment before responding. “Honey, by the time you showed up, we were so happy to see you.”
Even as a child, I knew what that meant. That explained the six years between my sister and me. It explained why nine years separated me from one brother, and twelve from the other. It explained why I often felt like a child in a roomful of adults, and why, for many years, the taller people in the house took some precedence. It wasn’t all bad, though. In general, they also took the heat and the blame.
When we were…
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